@howtomodel

When I was growing up, my basketball coaches from Kindergarten through 8th grade were accustomed to my laugh. What does that mean? Well, I laugh. A lot. All the time. More than I should. When I'm nervous, uncomfortable, and sad even, I can be found laughing. Most of the time my coaches would laugh too. Maybe because it made them uncomfortable. However, I think it was more so because of the fact that even in the most high-stress moments of the game, I gave them a release. A reason to lighten up! When I played basketball in high school, those coaches didn't get it quite as easily as those who knew me from childhood. I was benched for laughing. Questioned for smiling. "Do you think this is funny?!" I was yelled at. In my head I responded, "Yes, actually. This is high school basketball and you're about to have an aneurysm." but on the outside, I just turned bright fucking red and said nothing.

One time, I had taken a one-handed hook shot that I had been working on, mid-laugh, from the top of the key. My coach screamed for a timeout practically mid-release. 1- Because it was a ridiculous shot. 2- You do NOT take a one-handed hook shot from the top of the key. And 3- because I was laughing at a time when we were down a few points with only a minute left in the the 4th quarter (a high-stress situation).

To his surprise, as well as mine, I banked the shot. It went right in.

The time-out was taken and our team ran into the huddle. My coach was laughing. Mid-chuckle he said, "you are so fucking lucky you made that", then added, "otherwise you'd be benched for the whole season". And from that point on, he got it. He understood me. Later, he told me that when he first saw me play, he thought I didn't take the game seriously. Though, after a couple of seasons he came to realize that I was just always uncontrollably laughing. That I was sort of spastic and uncontrollable in general. He nicknamed me "The Big O", because of this. But also because I was big. I loved the nickname. It stuck.

In college, I came to find "The Big O" was a term that magazines typically used to refer to an orgasm. This made me laugh even more. 

This tendency to laugh at all times has stayed with me. I have found that within my modeling career, it has helped tremendously. Photographers like when you are comfortable laughing "candidly". Most of the time they ask for it and I'm glad that it comes naturally to me. But also, people in this industry can be really fucking rude and if you can't find a reason to laugh at them, it'll be a lot harder to survive.

Recently on a test shoot, the photographer said to me "you tend to do that a lot", referring to my abrupt laughter. I explained to him that usually when I'm on a shoot I have this overwhelming realization that my life is very strange. A realization that I am actually physically modeling in front of a camera, for a company or brand, and that people actually paid to have me here, and just the thought of this alone, makes me laugh. Mainly because never in my wildest dreams did I think that this is what I would be doing in life. Even on a test shoot, where the photos are simply for my portfolio, I can't help it. I seem to always be astounded by the concept of time and how our lives play out in the way that they do. Especially mine. 

Evidence of the test shoot laughter. Photo taken by @photocrave_.

I don't want people to think that I don't take this job seriously. Because I do! I'm a hard worker and I intend to one day develop my own brand, whatever that may be! Nevertheless, I also don't want people to glorify me or the work that I do. This may be problematic for my future intentions to develop a brand, but I'm okay with that. I have received messages from people asking how did I obtain such confidence, wishing they looked like me, and other messages of the sort. While I'm humbled by these messages, they make me sad. I love that people can look up to me. But I want it to be because of who I am. Not because of the way I look. 

So, because of all this, I made an Instagram page called @howtomodel.  It's my way of dealing with the seriousness of this industry. But also a way for me to share with those who seem to glorify this profession, that it's not all glitz an glamour. It's my way of exemplifying that even with professional lighting, photography, hair, and makeup, a professional model can still get her ugly on. I showed the page to my Mom and she was confused, "Livi, that's not attractive don't post that one!" (cue her @newyorkmoms accent). Confusion sparks a conversation. I like it! I showed my younger cousin and she asked if this was my "finstagram". Which is a thing that has been happening that I wasn't aware of. So I guess, yes, this is my Finstagram! I'm hip. The only difference between my Finstagram and the more popular usage of teen girls Finstagramming is that mine is public. Which makes me a badass Finstagram connoisseur. Or it just makes me really lame. Either way, I hope my posts make you laugh. Check them out: www.instagram.com/howtomodel

#SelfieStickItUpYours

As a New Yorker and someone whose family was directly impacted by the tragedy of September 11th, 2001, I've always had a hard time with the media's glorification of trauma. Every year on the anniversary of September 11th, the news channels are flooded with video footage. While I do think it is important to educate those who are not familiar with what happened that day, I also know that I personally can't stand to watch those video clips. They obviously make me upset, but for some reason I also become enraged. It's the same anger I feel when I walk along Church Street and am forcefully given a brochure for the 9/11 Museum. Yes, I have been there and yes, it is beautifully done, but I probably don't want to go back there until it becomes time for me to educate my own children about what happened that day. It is the same anger I felt when I was standing before the 9/11 Memorial, placing a rose on my Uncle's name when my face was met with a microphone, a woman, and a camera. The woman questioned abruptly “OMG, did you lose someone?”. As I am usually kind and polite, I quickly responded with a “please get the fuck away from me”, and a smile. She did, of course, but I was left to reflect for a moment about why I was so angry. Yes, it's probably because of this tragedy that resulted in the crumbling of those towers and the lives that were connected to them, including my uncle's and my family's. But it was also an anger stemming from the... selfies. The fucking selfies!

I was clutching this rose. I was upset and I was angry. I was praying and reflecting. And there the tourists were, smiling. Laughing. With their selfie sticks and their thought-out “candid” artistically beautiful moments that their friends photographed on their iPhones and cameras so that they could later post them on Instagram and all of their friends at home would then know that they were here in New York City! I was pissed. I thought about the memorials that I have visited. I thought, “Hey, maybe I'm just being a bitter New Yorker. Maybe, if this wasn't my city, I'd be doing the same.” But I traced through those memories and in none of them was I cheesin' hard, taking a selfie. If anything, I have photographed the memorial, or maybe a stranger looking upon the memorial, but not a genuine cheerful “I'M ALIVE AND ALL OF THESE PEOPLE ARE DEAD LOLOL” kind of selfie. That's how I viewed the ones that were taking place around me at least. I tried to let it go and see it from their point of view. That no one they knew was directly affected by this tragedy. That they didn't comprehend the lives that were lost that day. Or maybe this is how they were appreciating the art. I mean, it is a well done memorial! However, as much as I tried, I couldn't convince myself that this was okay.

Tonight, as I was scrolling on Facebook, I came across an article published on Metro.co.uk, written by Richard Hartley-Parkinson entitled “Powerful images that show why Holocaust Memorial selfies are so disrespectful”, I was in shock. The article is about the view of Israeli satirist and author Shahak Shapira. He's used photos taken at the Holocaust Museum in Berlin that have been posted on social media and photoshopped the subjects into real photographs from the Holocaust. The Holocaust Museum in Berlin seems to call upon the artistic selfie-takers, and like me, Shahak seemingly agrees that it's fucked up! While in those photographs, the subjects seem to get a bit more creative with their surroundings, I think the idea of posing in a sacred, honorable place just should not be the norm. And it's not an argument about what should and shouldn't be “the norm” but more so about what the hell is this world doing and why are selfies so goddamn important? Being that I am a model, I can appreciate a good selfie from time-to-time, or all the time frankly if you check my social media! But trust me, if selfie-promotion wasn't a part of my job, it would be a lot less frequent. Let me stop there though, because even a “selfie” (even the repetition of this word is making me nauseous) or one or two or three is okay! It just is not okay when it's done in a shit way... like at a memorial honoring lots of people who have died. It's just not the right place.

Shahak's work inspired me to search the internet. I looked on Instagram for selfies that were taken at the 9/11 Memorial. There was a bunch to choose from. For some reason the smirks didn't bother me as much as the full on grins. The fashion-blogger attempts pissed me off the most though. People literally go all fashion editorial at the 9/11 Memorial, you have to check this shit out. I decided to grab a couple of my favorites, and by favorites I mean the ones that made me the most enraged. I paired them with photographs actually taken on September 11th. The result was awful. The following photos are Photoshopped by me and will probably piss you off as well. If you're someone who is in one of these photographs, I'm sorry you're a prime example of a tourist who deserves a selfie-stick up the ass. If you want your photo taken off my blog, you can contact me at OliviaMarieWilson@gmail.com.

Tell me about it, stud.

There's not much to say in this blog post except that I really love Halloween and had a great time this year! Watch my process of getting ready and partying with my friends!

Sh*t Plus Models are Tired of Hearing

I was in the car with my boyfriend Shane leaving a local baseball field that my company PostGrad Creative was hired to photograph, when I received a phone call from my agent Marissa. She said "hey girl, so, you'll be working for Teen Vogue tomorrow"... "you'll be talking about the shit plus models are tired of hearing with Barbie, Jordyn, Hunter, and Riley". After hanging up with her and successfully shitting my pants, I started to focus on what exactly I would say! Almost instantly, I was overwhelmed with the numerous things I could discuss, and the "shit" I could talk about. The two I decided to go with were "WOW, YOU GET PAID TO EAT." and "You're a model? I guess I can kind of see it. (Raises hands to cover my body) You have a pretty face." 

I was nervous about the video. One time at a school mass I was asked to read a passage of the gospel and I accidentally burped on the microphone (no wonder I was bullied a bit). Though when I arrived at the Teen Vogue wing of the Freedom Tower, my nerves seemed to calm down. The general vibe of the whole studio was that of a bunch of friends hangin' out and listening to music. Soon after my hair was pulled back into a bun and a very small amount of makeup was applied to my skin, we were asked to sit on the couch in our white fluffy robes and comfy slippers. A microphone hovered above us and the lights were shining bright. I thought the video would be more structured, interviewing one person at a time about how they felt. However, I was pleased to find out that wasn't the case at all. The relaxed vibe of the studio carried over into our dynamic. We flowed from conversation to conversation, all agreeing to, laughing with, and sympathizing with each other's stories.

When I first started working as a model, my mentality was that "this is a cruel business" and you know, "what do you expect from 'the industry'", but along with the more clients I worked with, the more understanding I gained of what to expect and more importantly, what I can/ should tolerate. I've heard a lot of shitty things from people, but the shittiest I've found are those comments that come from people that I know personally. That's why I decided to include those two statements in this conversation. They're statements that stick out in my head because I was bothered by them. So if you've ever said something like that to me, SORRY FOR PUTTING YOU ON BLAST! You'd be happy to know that I've come to the conclusion that people like you say these shitty things, not out of hatred, but out of pure ignorance. You might see this "body positive movement" as just another hashtag on social media and not something that thrives in beings like these women and myself. 

That being said, social media plays a major role in this career of ours. Magazines and blogs associate numbers of followers with importance. So when this video is discussed it will probably to continue to appear like this: 

View fullsize

Or this: 

View fullsize

At least I'm included in the "and more" in that one! LOL. I don't think that many people are as interested in what lil old me had to say. But at least it didn't say "Four Plus Models and One Other Girl with a Pretty Face Talk About Shit Plus Models Are Tired of Hearing" LMAO. NO BUT IT'S FINE I'M NOT BOTHERED...

Seriously though, I'd like to thank Teen Vogue for giving me this opportunity, as well as Riley Ticotin, Hunter McGrady, Jordyn Woods, and Barbie Ferreira for including me in this conversation! We are all consciously a part of a movement and I'm honored to know all of you!

Here's the video in full! Enjoy!

Plus Model Almost Dies... (from having a good time)

Working for Lane Bryant is absolutely incredible. Wow Olivia, so sappy. Nah, but really they are incredible people. So needless to say, every time I head to Columbus, Ohio to work for them, I end up laughing my ass off and I leave with stories and experiences that I immediately want to share with my friends and family. Unfortunately within this first vlog of working for them, I only had my iPhone (with a cracked screen) and my laptop (I used PhotoBooth, how 2007 of me). Next time I'm there I promise I'll bring my camera and you'll be supplied with great high-quality stuff. 

This time I was extremely lucky. Not only did I get to see the Lane Bryant fam, but my friends were working as well. Usually Molly and I never get booked together because we laugh too much and then, so does the staff. So it's safe to say that this footage is rare and you should feel honored. Vlogging is still weird for me, mainly at the times when I'm recording only myself. However, I'm slowly learning to overcome that awkwardness. I think it's a good thing to take on something that at first makes you feel weird and uneasy. That's how I felt when I started modeling and I'm really proud to have overcome that because look at all of the fun I had and all of the awesome people this career has brought into my life!

Like I said previously, in upcoming videos the quality will be better, but my goal of this channel is to share with you my life! I hope you enjoy it! Like and subscribe if you do!

Family Tree

When I was grieving the initial loss of my Pop Pop, I decided to draw him. And not on paper as I normally would. Instead, I used a woodburning tool that my Dad found in our garage. 

I hadn't seen my Pop Pop's smile since his passing and as I etched it into the wood, I could feel his presence. Seeing my finished project made me smile again too. My Pop was my biggest supporter. And like the portrait I made of him, his spirit is forever engrained in my heart. 

Pop didn't have to spend this September 11th without his son, and the thought of that makes me really happy. Adding to my wood-burned portraits is my Uncle Jeff, which I've placed right next to his. My two biggest heroes, always watching over us, forever in our hearts.

To see more of my wood-burned portraits, click here, or visit my Etsy page!

#OhhDoubleDareYou

For a while I was hesitant about my first blog post. I thought, "It should be HUGE"..."It should be tear-jerking"... "It should be award-winning". But then I decided, eh. Why not make it mediocre? Do I even have a following (other than my mom's friends from work)? Who's Olivia Wilson? Oh, that one model who face-swaps with her own face on that one extremely small poster at Lane Bryant? Yeah, let's read her blog.

No but seriously, if for some strange reason you DO care about my life/career/blog posts, I wanted this first one to be inviting to say the least. So I've decided to make the subject of my very first blog post one of the proudest things I have ever done, #OhhDoubleDareYou. If you don't know what that is, it's a hashtag, welcome to the Internet! If you don't know what it means or why it holds any form of reverence to me, here's what you need to know (in the format that I first introduced it on my Instagram page):

When I was younger, I had this tank top. It was white and in the center had two little monkeys and a tree. I remember never wearing shirts that hung tight to my body without that tank top underneath. I realize in retrospect that this special tank top boosted my confidence daily. 

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of messages saying things like, “you’re so confident" and “I wish I could be like you." While I am humbled by these messages, I want those people to know that although I am confident in who I am and how I look, that’s not me 24/7. I too struggle with issues of confidence and self-love. 

I recently spoke to a close friend about the kinds of battles that we, as young girls and also as women, grapple with (usually while getting dressed) and it inspired me.

I've come to realize that, regardless of whether our battles are internal, external, subconscious, or conscious, we can all benefit from a daily reminder to love whoever and whatever we are. The comfort that my tank top provided me was empowering every time I looked into the mirror. For this reason, I’m starting my own campaign called #OhhDoubleDareYou. My reminder is "#OhhDoubleDareYou: To Be Confident."

(Yes I OhhDoubleDared myself).

When this photograph was taken, I felt beautiful, happy, and confident in my crop top. For this reason it was chosen. The photograph represents my battle, my story, and the confident person I want to always be. 

So I ask you, what will your daily reminder be? Ask yourself, what's a phrase that you can benefit from on a daily basis. What's your story?

When you know what it is, post a picture using the hashtag #OhhDoubleDareYou, tag me, and tell me about your reminder! I just might use your photograph and story for the merchandise on my shop!

I #OhhDoubleDareYou !!!

View fullsize

To my surprise I received many submissions to this campaign via Instagram. My goal was and still is to design merchandise in collaboration with those entries that I received. I'm working at each design every day, but there's A LOT so it's taking me a great deal of time. I really do want to release these body-positive/self-loving designs and messages to the public, but I want them to be perfect! I want them to be just as perfect and special as each submission was to the campaign. Men and women shared with me and with social media so much of their personal thoughts, emotions, and struggles, and I want my designs to be a representation that! Here are what a few submissions looked like: 

If you were looking for a tear-jerking opportunity, that was definitely it. 

So yes, that's #OhhDoubleDareYou, an in-progress collaboration with the people of the world and me, Olivia Wilson. I think I chose to share this campaign with you as my first blog post because not only do I pride myself in it's ability to spread such happiness and positivity, but also because this campaign embodies all of who I am. When fully executed, my intentions are that you'll be able to understand Olivia Wilson as a model, artist, and voice. I hope to use this platform as a place of encouragement, creativity, and expression. I want it to be a blog that will collaborate with the people of the world and me. Sometimes I'll use my words and other times I'll use pictures and/or video. Whatever I do post, I just hope that it can benefit you in some way, even if that means just making you smile!